Mommy May I

This is ....my 8 millionth blog.

Ok...so not really. I do have a few others though. So here is the scoop. I have had my own domain for ohhhhhh 5 years or so. I have moved it around, had a few different op systems, and countless readers that came and went. I love my domain. Love my blog. But there have been situations, especially lately, that I have refrained from writing about because of the people that know about my domain. Yes. #1 blog taboo. I censored my writing for my readership. I know I shouldn't. They should just deal with the things I spew and get the fuck over it right? Yeah. We aren't living in a perfect world sweet heart. People get their panties in a wad over shit that they shouldn't. They hold grudges. They are idiots.

So, here I am. Mom of 3. Wife of 2. Yeah. The ex and the current. I am owned by some critters. I have psycho friends and an even more psycho family. I do weird shit for fun. I have an identity in blogland. But I am not going there. Not here. I need a place just for me to spew without having people judge me. I need to be able to empty my overly active brain without being analyzed by every person who thinks they are a fucking Dr. Phil. I am NOT normal. I know that and I LOVE that about myself.

I have found myself locked in my bathroom a lot lately, having what I call "meltdowns". These meltdowns are often interrupted by various kids or critters for stupid fucking reasons. Which as you may know, only makes them worse. So, today, as I spewed to my own mom about how frustrated I am and how I lost my only avenue to vent, because people think it's ok to say stupid shit to me (like "don't worry, it will all work out" and the ever so helpful "You just need to relax.") but mostly, because I am too concerned about what people think of me....this idea came to me. Mommy, May I. That old game we used to play as kids. Only in my case, I am not asking for two giant steps forward. I am only asking for permission to spew. Vent. Scream. Throw things. Call people names. And occasionally feel sorry for myself.

Mommy, may I have a meltdown please.